Friday, June 6, 2008
Being asked to intercede for the women's aglow retreat is a bigger deal than I understood, but my very good friend Kathy asked and I accepted without a thought because I know two things. Kathy hears from God and she is one of those people put into my life to stretch me into the uncomfortable places that God wants me. It's not always easy, or even fun, but there is always joy and growth in the process.
The speaker appropriately (scheduled waaaay before the Todd B. thing in FL) spoke on moving in the prophetic, healing and other gifts as well as God manifesting in signs, wonders and miriacles. It was quite the activation weekend.
On the way up the hill (and by hill I mean giant freaking mountain) my sinuses filled up. Urg. So we checked into the room and unpacked. I actually re-packed because I tale my 2-3 quivers of flags, a bag of bottled water, zills my bible and this time my brand new synthetic shofar. Still shounds great but 1/5 of the cost and comes with a carry bag.
I am not very good at sounding the shofar, but I am going to use it when the Spirit leads, at the risk of making loud farting noises in front of 75 people. I hide behind pillars when I can or go out into the foyer. Jesus was totally ok with that considering it was my first day.
During flagging and worship I keep getting these very strong paind in different areas of my body, Heaviness and difficulty breathing, carpal tunnel, shoulder, elbow and arthritic hands, migrane and tension headaches. I feel like i should write them down so that I can remember. Fin ally a pain is so bad I almost cry out. So I tell kathy, and she goes with me to the leadership. I try to tell them but they just hand me a mic. at least i'm not hyperventilating, but I 've done that before. I ask the intercessors to come forward and start calling the symptoms out. People start coming up and recieving healing. I lay hands on two ladies half believing in my mind that this is really happening, but one of the ladies I laid hands on for her shoulder came back and asked me to pray over a growth on the bottom of her foot that hurt whenever she'd take a step. Shed had surgery and it came back so i laid hands on that too. I asked her to try it out and she started praising God because there was no pain.
I was like woah! God is totally healing people. This is crazy!
Then there was some really good teaching and then we started chatting and stuff after the activations and stuff.
One of the ladies came up to me and she had gold dust manifesting on her face. She said I didn't know you have sympathetic discernment. I didn;t know what it was called, but it was something that I dealt with when I was in the new age like 14 years ago, but I never knew what to call it and God hadn't started it up again till then.
i served in the prayer room during the designated tome in the afternoon and while we were praying over the requests that had been written and left one of the other intercessors started getting a gold sparkle on her cheek, ehn next to her eye than all over her lips.
saturday evening there were testimnies of healing and then the speaker started praying and calling out different sicknesses and stuff. Some of them applied to me. I have two cysts. one on the back of my jead and the other on the small of my back by my left hip bone. Before that I had three, there ons one on my back by my right hip but I can't find it, and i believe that Gd is going to continue to dissolve the other two..
One fo the ladies who'd come up friday night came up to testify and there was such a difference in her. she'd been in pain and on pain meds for neck, shoulder, carpal tunnel and hand arthritis. that morning she didn't take her pain medication. A real joy shone out of her and she looked healthier and clear as she testified of her healing. Awesome!
So ;ater on gold dust started up again, one lady got oil dripping from her fingers.. Then there was gold dust on my hands. That was neat.
I dreamed about gold dust and warfare all nightit was not restful, Kathy warred all night too. It was close to no rest. but when I woke up there was one big piece in the middle of my right hand.
By the end of worship I was drained and just crying People are very overwhelming to me sometimes, and i am a homebody, so I need a home base and not only were the rooms spread out they were not homey. And the showers were "freezing a** cold or scalding fricking hot" and yes those are technical temperatures, there was no middle ground for those showers. Anyhoo....
I was jsut taxed and wanted to get out of there and go home.
When i got home i rested and then I started a bath for jillian because she spilled plastic glitter all over the bathroom and herself. My spirit got all stirred up, and I wanted to tell kaitlyn about the gold dust, but i wanted to show her too and I started getting gold dust on my hands again. I called kaitlyn and told her about the things that happened and showed her the gold dust. Then I talked to her about why we share testimonies and what signs and wonders like gold dust are for. /then she started getting dust on her hands and face. Jilli came in complaining aobut bobo getting into her bath and we told her aobut it and showed her the dust on my hands and Kats hands and face. and Jilian said why can't i have any?!
I looked at her hand and sure enough gold dust was manifesting on her hands fingertips and backs of her hands.
It was not the glitter jillian spilled, that was clear iridescent plastic glitter in rectangular shapes. the gold dust is tiny, much smaller than a fleck of glitter, like a pinpoint, and does not have a discernable shape.
I'll try and get a picture, but I haven't been able to get a photo of it yet.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Every time i step inot new and unfamiliar territory, and the Mayors Prayer Breakfast certainly is that, I am hit by the doubts and lies from the enemy. I actually heard 'Maybe you shouldn't bring the flags at all' HA! Teh lfunny thing is that a year ago I would have struggled with that one, this morning there was just a Yeah Right, in my spirit and I continued getting ready. I was nervous because I am not a 'suit', and not only has it been years since I wore professional attire, it has been 15 pounds since then too. I settled for my nicest jeans with heels and a pretty sweater. How can one be a suit with pink hair anyway? I am obviously a punk, a Jesus punk, but nonetheless a punk at a business breakfast. There has been nowhere in the past several years that the enemy has tried to convince me more that I did not belong, and should not follow my calling.
Even during the worship songs where i am undoubtedly called there was this inner turmoil to step out. IT was difficult, but since I have had breakthrough before, I stepped out and used my smallest flag, during the next worship song the three fo us ladies stood when no one else did (the song said "I Stand...")in the very center of hundreds of people, and that place was BIG!
After Mr A C Green of the Lakers humbly shared his story of his faith journey, belief in Jesus and belief in prayer, as well as being there in times of trouble and controversy for his team mates. (My husband was very jealous) The Visalia Times Delta (and Tulare Advence Register) reporter Steve R Fujimoto, came up to myself and Kathy and Patricia, got our names, and asked me What's with the Flags?
I was a little stunned by the question, so I answered simply, they are Worship Banners. I sputtered a little more to him and handed him a brochure. I knew we were going to be in the paper. Crap! I hope I didn't make a goofy face!
Here is the lovely article in our local paper, it is exciting and scary to see your name and face on your local paper. What is that funny God gonna do next???
Saturday, April 19, 2008
$75.00 + $8.00 S&H
I just figured out how to use the paypal button thingie, so bear with me, or... buy one!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
can we effectively correct someone about their sin.
Ok, so there have been a few things bothering me in the church and it’s been heavy in my heart. I’ve had a ’no go’ in my spirit about blogging them, and I didn’t. This is why.
If I run up behind a lady and slap her on the behind, I’m assaulting her. Even if my intentions were good. Without relationship this woman is deeply offended and may press charges. If this woman is my sister in law, she would not be offended and probably would turn around and chase me down and beat the hell out of me all in good fun. (Ok, maybe she wouldn’t beat the hell out of me, but she’d get me back or consider us just about even because I have the torture of living with her little brother. Fair nuff.)
That’s the picture God gave me. He;s wierd, right? But it’s a good illustration. If you run up to a stranger and strike them with the sharp end of the gospel, you are not trying to save them from sin. You are assaulting them. Later they will identify you as ’the church’ and that stick you hit them with as an angry and judgmental Jesus. Who here knows that Jesus? Not really, right?
First off, God says he sees all sins as equal. 1(sin) = 1 (sin). It’s a very simple equation. It’s like fruit. (Not fruit of the Spirit, it’s just an example) 1 (grape) = 1 (piece fruit) = 1 (orange). It looks unequal because of the shape, the size, the texture, the color; not the same. But both equal one piece of fruit, and that is really how God judges it. But I only sinned a grape and he sinned a whole grapefruit. Wow, it looks bigger to me. Good thing I’m not the judge, right?
Well, wait, wasn’t this about correction?
Oh, yeah, what does that mean, then? I guess it means that no matter what my friend over there is doing wrong, we are both in need of Gods mercy. And just because that doesn’t happen to be my particular weakness, doesn’t mean I don’t have my own equally wrong weakness.
But I want to tell them to stop it!
Oh, do you have a good relationship with them? Are you friends?
Do you know that they know that you love them in Christ, are you close friends? If so, pray. Get the go ahead from God, that is what the Holy Spirit is there for! Seek the advice of others who love them, but not in a gossipy way. If not, only pray for them. If you can’t playfully spank them, than you cannot administer discipline to them.
Is this because of something that they’ve done to you or someone that you care about? Ok, if they have done something that effects you, your sibling or child. You may be able to speak up without relationship. But this is an exception only because you are protecting yourself or someone under your direct authority. Do not mount an assault. Here are directions:
11 "If your brother 12 sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.
13 If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ’every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’
If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. 14 If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
And How did Jesus treat gentiles and tax collectors?
Let’s look at that one... because we hate tax collectors, and the Jews scorned the Gentiles.
 After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him,  and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.
 Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them.  But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and ’sinners’?"
 Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."
You mean Jesus was nice to the tax collectors and the gentiles too? Well, you’re not a Hebrew, are you???Oh yeah. I’m not.
 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable:  "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ’God, I thank you that I am not like other men -- robbers, evildoers, adulterers -- or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
 "But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ’God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
 "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
Ok, we get that. How do we treat them? Like Jesus did. We love them anyway. I’m not saying invite a child molester over for dinner and have them watch your kids while you run to the corner store. Don’t make allowance for others weakness, but shaming someone will not help them overcome. It will only make you out to be a jerk.
And please, please do not stand outside an abortion clinic and assault scared women with cries of murderer. I like the LIFE movement. they stand there silently. Absolutely stand for what you believe in, but don’t attack people.
And please, please do not run out to the busiest corner in town with a bullhorn and yell aobut hell and damnation. I literally saw someone doing that in fresno during the warcry conference. Yikes. I wonder how many people wnated to get out of their cars and recieve Christ?
I didn’t see any.
Witnessing starts with relationship too. What about misssionaries? Well, they cared enough to go halfway around the world, learn the language and live away from their families just to tell people they’d never met that God loves them. That IS a good ice breaker. And sometimes, they get eaten anyway.
Have a nice day!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I'm trying to have a relaxing day Friday, because i expect to be super busy all weekend. Not so.
I actually had to go to buy new windshield wiper blades, Costco, my bank, and a copy shop before i could relax because for some reason I was out of printer ink and brochures at the same time and overlooked it all week. Which was just a week full of overcoming obstacles in good humor, (or trying), if you know me well then you know that is not something i always do well.
Busy all day tying up the last minute details of the dailies when I leave later than planned, but still ok for time.
I have mapquested a map to the con., from the con. to the place i'm staying, and back to the con from there (I get lost alot, haha). I am ready and NOT going to get lost again. I am going to be in control and prepared. (are you laughing?) Drive to the conference, through the rain enjoying good visibility due largely to replacing 4 year old wipers that had been screaming across the windshield the day before. Some song i've never heard comes on KDUV (so I can't listen to talk radio all the time)about the rain, and I'm thinking, ok, coincidence. Neat.
Get to the conference, I love all of the Warcry kids and staff. They are alll really cool people. Meet some that I've never talked to , say hey to the others and set up my table.
With time to spare, I think, I'll be clever and not get lost in the dark trying to find a gas station,so, i'll just gas up for the weekend now. Did i fail to mention there was a pair of monster speedbumps on the way back to Ashlan from the church? Well, that because I forgot! I was actually praying when I launched my van off of one and it arced into the other CACHUNKA CACHUNKA CACHUNKA. I just bottomed out into the second speedbump. Urk.
Oh God! I'm like What! I was talking to you and everything! So I pray for my van and ask that everything be ok. I continue on to the gas station and start filling up. Doodly doodle. Filling up and bend over to look under my van. I wonder....
SONOFABITCH!!!!! I was talking about our new puppy. (His name is Moley Dog because he borrows)
The van is HEMMORHAGING! some fluid all over the place. It is not dripping, it is pouring out in a steady stream all over the gas station 'floor'.
So now i'm hysterical, and not in the fun way, and i yank the nozzle out and spray gas everywhere, hang it up and go into the gas station.
So I tell the guy, my van is bleeding to death out in your structure. Then i ask him is I can leave it there until tomorrow. He says ok. I say, I'm going to pull it into a parking space. Please don't have it towed. I'm not abandoning it, I'll come get it tomorrow. He says ok. So I repark it in a space and open the hood. Relatively sure the fluid is trans fluid I check the oil dipstick, Nope brownish bordering on black, ok. Check the tranny fluid dipstick. NO fluid. Yup! Its Tranny fluid. Crap! I have broken my transmission. i see $1200.00.
I call Jim and Louanne to get ahold of their ex son in law who works on trannys.
They are not there. I explain to their son (handsome and intelligent nate, thanks so much) what happened and he gives me Jim's cell number.
I then call sonnet and ask for a ride.
Get back to the conference and sit at my table and i'm so upset. This is going to be really expensive, I'm going to screw up my weekend, so much for my carefully laid out plans, the tax return is going to a new transmission, how will I get back tonight, maybe i should go home, i'm a wreck, nobody will buy flags from a crying freak, and last one is, Bo is going to be so mad at me!P>
I am just bawling like a baby at this point and someone asks me. What are you going to do now?
I look down and see that image on my t-shirts for sale. So I say what they say.
"I'm going to praise Him anyway." It was the saddest declararion i think i've ever made, but it was like this thing that needed to be said rather than I'm going to piss & moan and fall apart which is what I really was doing.
Sonnet prays peace over me and it is like flipping a switch, no more crying or fear just resolution that it's all under control. Not mine, but that's ok. In fact not being in control is even better. Duh!
My cell phone rings, it is Uncle Jim and he is asking how he can help. I tell him i need to get ahold of Jay because he used to do transmissions. So he calls amber and amber calls jay and jay calls me over the next hour. I am in between being on the phone and being in the worship service with the flags. Because I am praising Him anyway, Right?
So I now, thanks to Jay have a tow company name, a transmission shop to open on a saturday, hope that it's only the transmission pan, no less and a plan. totally a God set up. So I figure ok, He's in control, this is His idea, and all i have to do is walk through it because He's even going to take care of the financial aspect. (easier realized than done by the way)
So I have been on my cell in the parking lot for reception and i'm done now.
I'm standing there and I look up to the sky and I say, So, Why did you do this if you were just going to work it all out.
And i'm really expecting like, trust or faith or security, you know so I'll believe in Him better, like a faith building excercise, but no......
He says, get this... " I wanted to hear you say that you were going to praise Me anyway."
I'm like, what the heck! That sucked. That wasn;t nice! Did you have to do that to my van?
He goes, "It could have been worse."
I'm like Ok, I give. this is just fine. I'll take it.
Then melina walks over from her truck.
Hey, what are you doing out here?
So I tell her and we go in to the worship service and there is this message aobut Joshua and wrestling which God had been talking to me about that morning. So I was like this is totally relevant to me. Awesome! (I don't get that very much in regular church. Mostly because children are very distracting.)
Now the only thing I really need to figure out is how to get to the Siemens house. I have ALL of my stuff from my van. I am a vagabond.
So I am saying to someone at my table after the con. I plan on asking Cass for a ride to the Siemens and Cass walks up behind me. I'm like, oh, can I...
He laughs and says he's already arranged for a ride with Jen Liddy and she'll take me there.
So Jen Liddy and I head back to the Siemens house and she drops me off, so I give her the mapquest directions from the Siemens house back to the con. so she can get back. (Another one of those things that He set up )
Nobody is home when I get there, and i know Josiah isn't going to be home until later, he had a late broom hockey game with his youth group till like 2 am and it was only 11.
So i walk in after hunting down the key and the tv is on and I'm like Yeah! Fresh Prince. and I vegg for a bit and then the phone rings. I'm pretty sure it's Mary calling to check on everything, but i try not to answer other peoples phones without permission.
Of course their machine picks up and it is Mary.
i talk to her and tell her what happened, she says that I can use their Toyota Saturday, to get to the conference. So God provided alternate transportation too.
That was friday.
I wake up early Saturday morning, 1 minute before my alarm goes off and get ready. I have enough time to throw together a video to loop on my table.
This is it.
Pretty cool, right? No? Ok, whatever.
Anyway. I get to the conference in the borrowed toyota corrolla and set up my table, with the computer. I am waiting for Jay to call and let me know when to call the towtruck.
The conference starts at 10 and I go in for worship, I get a call from Jay saying that his dad is at breakfast and wont be available till 12:30. I'm ok with that. So I'm back in worship with my flags. Good worship service, good relevant message.
Afterwards I'm starving and must get real food. I have pretty much subsided on beef jerky and baby carrots. They have a mini cafe set up so I go in and find out the only thing close to palateable is a hot pocket. I buy one. Thsi is what is running through my head...
Cass and Sonnet call me over (names may or may not be changed to protect the innocent) to join about eight people at a table. I was gonna eat by myself at my table and not think anything about it. they make room and I join them.
Cass asks what I'm eating, I'm having a HotPocket (I sing it like Jim Gaffigan)
almost half the table laughs at the joke, I feel cool.
They make room for me ans i sit down. they are like, do you really wanna eat that because (insert her name here) is a caterer and brought sandwiches, there are extras and i can have one. Hmmm.... I think what kind, but god says dont ask just eat it. Cass says welcome to lessons in recieving. So I say yes. there are even toppings and fruit salad and it is a really good lunch. I throw away the Hot Pocket. Good bye diharreah pocket!
Talk to a few people at my table, but just before the peak selling time My cell phone goes off and i leave the flags there.
I am going to meet the tow truck guy at the shell station where i left my van. So i head over there and carefully drive over the bumps. when I get close I see something strange. My van is not there.
So I go in and I ask the guy, Did you have my van towed after you promised you would not have it towed? Give me the number to your tow company!
He starts complaining about the mess my transmission fluid left all over his gas station. I inform him I would have paid for the kitty litter. He continues to complain. This is a test, because i want to scream and cuss at this big fat liar, and call him a big fat liar too. I am completely enraged.
I get the number and then I tell him that He promised , no I 'm yelling that He promised that he would not have it towed, and he broke his word. I'm pointing my finger at him (no, not the middle one) and yelling, but i only yelled the truth.
fuming I call the tow company, and I can hardlly hear the guy let alone know what he is saying something about $240. So my tow guy gets there and He leads the way to the tow yard where they have my van. They have basically stolen my property and i have to pay extortion money to get it back. Jerks.
So the original guy shows up and i pay him $324 from my business account which has enough money in it only because yesterday I recieved an order large enough to cover materials, shipping and rip off tow guys. i even pay him the extortion money cheerfully. Thanking God because the money is there and I don't have to go into debt with this.
My tow guy tows the van to the transmission shop.
it is much farther that it was supposed to be
we get to the tranny shop
this is chuck, it's his shop
this is the tow guy, i forget his name, but I paid him $75. ouch!
this is Jay, he is taking off my perforated pan
I'm waiting around and i see this
it reminds me, what is my core focus in this? Praising Him in the midst of the trouble.
They look at the pan and decide they can weld it, then they give me a map because i will probably get lost. I make it back in the last minutes of the conference and can get no flags. So I just wait. When they open up the room of the tables, a few customers wander in and out.
Right before peak sselling time again, Jay calls me and tells me my van is ready. So I have him pick me up. The cost is $90. Not too bad. Total cost of being distracted by God $499. The experience of walking through it... priceless?
I left the map in the toyota and get lost enough to test the engine and make sure there are no other problems. Great. I suck at getting verbal directions. nOne thing I have learned about myself, I retain about 10% of what I hear, which is why I've probably forgotten your name within 2 minutes of being introduced. I only remember if I see mental pictures.
I get back in time to grab a few flags and run into the worship service. Keep in mind that I am still mad about the money, mad about the tow/impound/mad at the shell guy. but I am in the worship and I have a positive attitude and I am praising Him. Trying not to hit people who want to get too close, trying to have an attitude of worship.
There is this constant communion thing where i am talking back and forth with God. So heather Clark is giving out prophetic words to people in the audience, really awesome words, mostly to the warcry kids.
i ask God, Can I have a prophetic word?
He says, "Isn't this good enough?"
I don't that want to stop so I say, no this is really good, it s just sometimes I feel like a crazy person talking to a Voice in my head all the time.
He says "Your mind doesn't talk to you the way I do."
I think about it ans agree, I am satisfied to not get a prophetic word.
So of course (if you sit next to me you know) I am goofing off and making funny comments distracting Melina during Heather's words and Heather clark says
the girl with the flag! (that's me holding my redemption flag which comes into the story later)
first of all I'm busted talking in church (dangit)
secong she called me girl (hee heee I feel young)
she starts talking about not just my life, but the past six months, a fog (which i wrote a sorry poem about)
and also this van thing that i am walking through this weekend (still not funny)
she uses key words and phrases that i or friends have said in conversations
then she says this stuff is hidden like pieces of a puzzle coming together where they dont make sense in pieces, only when the are together Can you see that they come together to form a foundation of an amazing prophetic gift or ministry (not sure which) and i would be able to stand on the mountain and see the overall picture. Wow. That references a dream I had.
she says alot more and I don't remember it all but of course I am bawling by this time and totally blessed because even thought i asked for this word, I didn't expect to get it, but I am not a crazy person talking to a voice in my head, it really is God and this mess I've been wading through is for a purpose.
Later the teaching is talking about opening the gates and go over psalm 24:7 and it hits me this is the verse that I made all the purple and gold flags for (so go read it, I'm not going to do all the work here)
Another thing she said was God sometimes distracts us, when we think we are getting it wrong (like hitting speedbumps while praying) it was him giving us calamity.
so I sell a flag or two and pack up, deciding to leave my van parked in the light by the entrance because I borrowed the Siemend toyota and have to take that back. I guess if it gets stolen then God will take care of that too.
The maintenance guy looks at me funny when I pull my van up to the front of the church and leave it. I tell him the situation and tell him I'm going to be back in the morning. Please don't tow it. He doesnt.
I head back to the Siemens without getting lost, I may have the hang of getting to their house, finally, right? Josiah is on the phone somewhere in the house, so I putter around and get ready for bed.
I fall asleep watching Moving Macallister. I relaize while I'm watching it I'm living the idea of this movie. Maybe, I don't know. good movie anyway, I really like it.
So, Sunday morning i woke up to my cell phone alarm at 7:30 and watched a bit more of moving macallister before taking my shower and reheating the coffee in the coffee pot. (I wasn't gonna waste it). I wear one of my I Thess 5:18 tees, because you know Who told me to. I guess I've earned it after the past two days. Right?
Knowing Josiah had been on the phone most of the night I got him up as late as possible to give me a ride. It had been arranged the night before by Mary. Actually up until that morning we probably had only said hi & bye to eachother. Wierd, right? Sure.. call me wierd. Whatever. Anyway Josiah is a fantastically talented musician who plays multiple instruments, but didn't care to sing on stage. And a pretty good driver too. We talked most of the way to the con. with a few awkward silences, but it was ok.
So I unload most of my stuff into my van, and say goodbye, then bring my computer and what not into the church. Warcry is nowhere in sight. But there is a youth group having Sunday school. OK...... I quietly stick my stuff under a table and wander around a bit. maybe warcry hasn't gotten there yet. No they haven't. One lady grabs me and asks me about my hair, she's a hairdresser.
She tells me that burgundy would look fab. on me. OK. Am I new here? No, I'm with the con. There's a con? Their church, most of them don't even know about the conference. Too bad. She introduces me to a bunch of people including the pastor. He gives me permission to use the flags during the worship service & tells me where to sit so I don't block the vision. It has been about 2 years since they had flags here. I am wondering why...
They have this hospitality thing down, I am fed breakfast. (remember living on jerky and carrots unless God decides to feed me) and given coffee (oh make my heart sing, I do love caffeine!) and introduced to bunch more ladies who want to hear about the flags and the conference. It is a very welcoming congregation.
They have pre-worship service worship at 10, then the actual service starts at 10:30. So I am in the front using the flags, trying to follow the leading of the spirit in which flags to use and little ones come up to me for flags and I give out my little ones first. One girl is not satisfied with a small one and asks for a bigger one. I make her wait until i see she is able to handle them. I whisper pointers to her and hand her my rose of sharon flag. a couple of people thank me for bringing the flags.
They have a pre message by their pastor about local outreach and then a guest speaker. It is about missions, and distance outreach. Going beyond your comfort zone, sending people, and not just funds. about how God is moving in Africa and it is 3rd in the world for christian population because we have been praying. And where are the 3 most desolate (spiritually) nations? America, China and I think France. We have churches on every corner, but they aren't reaching out. How many non-christians do you know and associate with?
How are we loving them as they are without whacking them with a bible?
So I go up into the balcony with my flags and ther are 2-3 other people up there. I look down at the congregation on the floor and there is only 2/3 of the seating filled. I am sitting there listening to an amazing message in a warm and inviting body with a relevant and generous pastor and too much room. And the Spirit started telling me about the church. So i started praying and agreeing.
At one point I look at my feet and i'm wearing my purple doc's which were my last choice for the conference. I was gonna wear my flops and my tall doc;s, but I ask and these are the shoes that someone prophetically called my butt-kicking boots. then I realize they are purple and have gold stitching. these are the colors He gave me for the conference.
After the service I met a few people and then everyone else left except the ones who were using fuller hall where my table was. So I went out to sit in my van and just rest.
Sitting on my van's antenna was a sleeping beauty crown. I take this as a prophetic sign. So I grab the crown off my antennae and sit in my van.
And I'm thinking , ok, what does this mean? It's a crown: anointing, royalty treasure, Antennae: recieves messages from the air that otherwise can't be heard Sleeping beauty: wakes up after a long sleep the van: means ministry, has just been broken, stolen, recovered, repaired and fluids changed out. I guess I'm ready to recieve new messages.
Ok, Lord. I'll take it!
So I'm sitting there wondering what is in store for today and i see in my head, the red standard flag. I hear Him say Isaiah. I'm supposed to give the flag to someone named Isaiah or with a verse from Isaiah that's been on their mind all day. Ok. Now I have a mission. I asked for more clarification, but that was all He would give me. I'm excited. I have an objective aside from selling flags. I can't wait to see what is going to happen. I look around for Isaiah and cant find him, so I give up and just wait.
I talk to a few people after setting up my table and sell a few flags throughout the day, but that's not relevant to most of the story. I carefully and prayerfully select the flags, and I put my zills in my pocket so I don't hav to dig in my purse for them, (it's a whim, I haven't used them all weekend, but i made such a fuss about finding them i should at least have them) for the first session and sit in the same spot I sat in during the worship service.
The shofar guy is sitting there too. Cool. I tell him how glad i am that he brought his shofars.
Worship starts witha nice song and I flag along, then they start a misty edwards song (Oh how we want You to Come) and I pick up my lion of judah banner, a little bit into the song I can't help but run upstairs into the balcony. I am dancing and then it turns into whirling and slashing with the banner, soon I am a mad woman, battling something like crazy and i'm panting and then I'm bawling and still slashing with the Lion of Judah banner. Then I start breathing out and i realize that this is what I felt like when tongues was first released to me and I let it out and a fuller part of the language comes spilling out (before i only had one phrase) and i am still slashing and crying and then I just sit down in the aisle and wail like I've never wailed before. That was wierd.
They start another song, and I found out later that it's on the new Misty Edwards album. It's called my soul longs for You. I goes between fast and slow and it kinda rocks, it says My soul longs for you Nothing else will do I believe that you will come like the rain you'll come like the rain and there is a lot of repetitiion. and I wanted to play the rain. Then I realized that my zills are already in my pocket instead of downstairs with the flags and my purse. So i play the rain and dance and cry and act like a total maniac. It was good. At some point I grab my other flags and stuff and bring them up there.
There is another shofar guy too, he and a woman have come up to the balcony (The high place) She has the red standard and is using it during the worship.
After the worship is over I head over to her because she is putting the flag back in my pile. She's like, i hope it's ok i borrowed it. I'm like yeah, yeah, whatever, but do you have a verse from Isaiah that's been on your heart all day?
At his point she really looks at me. She says , Yes, Isaiah 28:6 and recites it to me. I'm not sure how it's relevant to me (I'm still asking) but i hear her say Isaiah 48:17 (I'm a little deaf, but i keep that verse for meditation too) I tell her theat the standard is for her and to meet me at my table after the service. She is so excited about the flag, she agrees to meet me later and goes back downstairs.
After the teaching is over I head to my table and talk to Char, she is a foster gramma and I tell her about the flags and what the red atandard means, she is so excited about the standards, especially when I show her the verse in Isaiah 59:19. She gets it, Ooh! Raise Up the STANDARD! It's this amazing revelation to her. Turns out she is this great prayer warrior. We talk fo like a half an hour and she leans across the table and puts her finger on the flag and says you know, this flag is going to Israel. I start bawling again, I tell her that I tried to send that flag to Israel, but ended up sending a blue one to a ministry that does recon in the desert with shofars. She leans closer and goes Oh, You're going to Israel. You'll go to the upper room too. I start cryoing harder and she comes around the table and lays hands on me and blesses me and passes on a mantle (something for the nations, I forget.) and says that the number five is significant for this. She says that she has told other women they would go and all of them have gone in spite of financial and family hardships.
Coolio. I am however very nervous about travelling internationally. But I guess I'll have to get a passport now.
The beginning of the next conference i sat front, right by the shofar guy. He says to me when you take up your Lion of Judah flag don't go upstairs, stay down here. I try to tell him that I couldn't help it and he says Yeah, I know all about the prophetic, just stay down here this time. Ok. i realized that I was hoping for the worship to be the same but I couldn't expect that.
At one point he was weaving and he says to me I'm getting whacked by your flags.
I'm like. Sorry, I didn't even realize that I was hitting you.
He's like, no, it's the glory. I've never seen such an anointing on flags before .
Thrilling. This whole flag thing was Gods idea, it's just good to be encouraged.
He says, It's knocking me over. I don't usually get hit like this. Then he realizes that he has to share something with me.
He says, you know people like us are wired differently, (some people have like a capacity of two,) they are the ones that get drunk in the spirit really easily, and just get hit really hard. I'm like ok, I get that (i have a friend that you can clock the Holy Spirit on, he comes in and she goes down. Everyon'e like, L."'s been 'floored', it's time to go!) So he says you know, we are wired for more because of the prophetic, we need to have extra capacity. It's not ok if the ministers are going under when they are ministering to others. They have to be able to stand, to lay hands and pass it on.
I tell him about the prayer line and how a lady was doing a word and the person went down, and she kept pushing me and I was like, am I supposed to go down?
He tells me to not let them push me down, and if i go through the prayer tunnels to recharge others while they are praying for me. Gotcha. I have to say, i am not a cheap drunk in the spirit, I have actually only been reeling once and it lasted maybe an hour, but it was pretty fun.
I always wondered why I never 'felt' anything even when everyone else was totally swimming in it and like 'the glory, the presence' and i'm like What.? Now I know. I feel better, and if you have been like that then you too should now feel better. Yay.
Then he starts sharing one of his theories with me and it makes sense. He says (paraphrased because of memory) Ok, light and blood are molecularly very similar. Very very similar. God is light, we are created in the image of God, so adam and eve were probably very shiny before the fall. Now imagine milk, fresh and pure and then the state of milk when it becomes cottage cheese. It spoils some and curdles. His theory (or revelation) is that blood and flesh are curdled light. No wonder adam and eve went Eeww! Cover it up! NO more shiny, they were just curdled light. Wierd right? Interesting. Thought provoking,
Capacity for glory, 10. because God created them for His glory and they held it, it spilled out of them. Jesus capacity for glory, 10. Moses? probably 9. Lightweights 2-3. Ministers more, maybe 4-8, i dont know, just making up numbers here. (hmm like the talents right? to those who use it more is given, to those who don't it's taken away)
He tells me that I have sensitivity to the Spirit for which flag I'm using during the worship. (I do know this, I'm trying to follow the leading, because the flags are to unite the body in agreement. I sometimes ask when i'm unsure. If it was just which flags are prettiest then I'd only use 3 or 4 all the time)
During payer and ministry time I feel that I am supposed to give away my brand new redemption flag. Ok, i pick it up and start fidgeting with it. Now i know who, I'm waiting for the pastor of that church to be free for a moment. When he is I jump up and put my hand on his shoulder. I hand him the flag and tell him what it symbolizes for his church, that is partly what the warfare dance was about. His empty church. I tell him what the flag is twice because he asks. then i sit down.
John, the shofar guy that is, says do you see that? I'm like what? (ever clueless me, right?) he leans and says no lean over here. I lean and he says do you see the gold dust? finally I see it. I'm like yeah! I'm totally excited and i look over at him
Joun says it fell when you gave that pastor the flag. Hee hee hee.
When i look back form John to the gold dust it's doubled in size.
I'm like it got bigger! (It really si a flake, and not a squiggle, but I jostled the camers so this is my image, but coolio anyway, right?) C-mon, tell me how neat that is!
He agrees. After the conference Char comes over. They go to the same church. I guess I'll have to visit their church in clovis.
As soon as the conference is over I am packing up and my friend Carol and I decide to caravan together. I drive my van home. After vehicle expenses, printing, food, gas adn other misc expenses I have made $35.00.
Not quite the take home i was hoping for, but the best, worst weekend of my life. Vehicle repairs, towing and impound: $499. Weekend with God: Priceless.
Cheesy line from the visa commercials, irresistable. Thanks for enduring the long ramble.