Tuesday, March 11, 2008

the February 2008 Warcry Conference, My Experiences with God

I'm trying to have  a relaxing day Friday, because i expect to be super busy all weekend. Not so.


I actually had to go to buy new windshield wiper blades, Costco, my bank, and a copy shop before i could relax because for some reason I was out of printer ink and brochures at the same time and overlooked it all week. Which was just a week full of overcoming obstacles in good humor, (or trying), if you know me well then you know that is not something i always do well.


Busy all day tying up the last minute details of the dailies when I leave later than planned, but still ok for time.


I have mapquested a map to the con., from the con. to the place i'm staying, and back to the con from there (I get lost alot, haha). I am ready and NOT going to get lost again. I am going to be in control and prepared. (are you laughing?) Drive to the conference, through the rain enjoying good visibility due largely to replacing 4 year old wipers that had been screaming across the windshield the day before. Some song i've never heard comes on KDUV (so I can't listen to talk radio all the time)about the rain, and I'm thinking, ok, coincidence. Neat.


Get to the conference, I love all of the Warcry kids and staff. They are alll really cool people. Meet some that I've never talked to , say hey to the others and set up my table.


With time to spare, I think, I'll be clever and not get lost in the dark trying to find a gas station,so, i'll just gas up for the weekend now. Did i fail to mention there was a pair of monster speedbumps on the way back to Ashlan from the church? Well, that because I forgot! I was actually praying when I launched my van off of one and it arced into the other CACHUNKA CACHUNKA CACHUNKA. I just bottomed out into the second speedbump. Urk.


Oh God! I'm like What! I was talking to you and everything! So I pray for my van and ask that everything be ok. I continue on to the gas station and start filling up. Doodly doodle. Filling up and bend over to look under my van. I wonder....


SONOFABITCH!!!!! I was talking about our new puppy. (His name is Moley Dog because he borrows)


The van is HEMMORHAGING! some fluid all over the place. It is not dripping, it is pouring out in a steady stream all over the gas station 'floor'.


So now i'm hysterical, and not in the fun way, and i yank the nozzle out and spray gas everywhere, hang it up and go into the gas station.


So I tell the guy, my van is bleeding to death out in your structure. Then i ask him is I can leave it there until tomorrow. He says ok. I say, I'm going to pull it into a parking space. Please don't have it towed. I'm not abandoning it, I'll come get it tomorrow. He says ok. So I repark it in a space and open the hood. Relatively sure the fluid is trans fluid I check the oil dipstick, Nope brownish bordering on black, ok. Check the tranny fluid dipstick. NO fluid. Yup! Its Tranny fluid. Crap! I have broken my transmission. i see $1200.00.


I call Jim and Louanne to get ahold of their ex son in law who works on trannys.


They are not there. I explain to their son (handsome and intelligent nate, thanks so much)  what happened and he gives me Jim's cell number.


I then call sonnet and ask for a ride.


Get back to the conference and sit at my table and i'm so upset. This is going to be really expensive, I'm going to screw up my weekend, so much for my carefully laid out plans, the tax return is going to a new transmission, how will I get back tonight, maybe i should go home, i'm a wreck, nobody will buy flags from a crying freak, and last one is, Bo is going to be so mad at me!P>

I am just bawling like a baby at this point and someone asks me. What are you going to do now?



I look down and see that image on my t-shirts for sale. So I say what they say.


"I'm going to praise Him anyway." It was the saddest declararion i think i've ever made, but it was like this thing that needed to be said rather than I'm going to piss & moan and fall apart which is what I really was doing.


Sonnet prays peace over me and it is like flipping a switch, no more crying or fear just resolution that it's all under control. Not mine, but that's ok. In fact not being in control is even better. Duh!


My cell phone rings, it is Uncle Jim and he is asking how he can help. I tell him i need to get ahold of Jay because he used to do transmissions. So he calls amber and amber calls jay and jay calls me over the next hour. I am in between being on the phone and being in the worship service with the flags. Because I am praising Him anyway, Right?


So I now, thanks to Jay have a tow company name, a transmission shop to open on a saturday, hope that it's only the transmission pan, no less and a plan. totally a God set up. So I figure ok, He's in control, this is His idea, and all i have to do is walk through it because He's even going to take care of the financial aspect. (easier realized than done by the way)


So I have been on my cell in the parking lot for reception and i'm done now.


I'm standing there and I look up to the sky and I say, So, Why did you do this if you were just going to work it all out.


And i'm really expecting like, trust or faith or security, you know so I'll believe in Him better, like a faith building excercise, but no......


He says, get this... " I wanted to hear you say that you were going to praise Me anyway."


I'm like, what the heck! That sucked. That wasn;t nice! Did you have to do that to my van?


He goes, "It could have been worse."


I'm like Ok, I give. this is just fine. I'll take it.


Then melina walks over from her truck.


Hey, what are you doing out here?


So I tell her and we go in to the worship service and there is this message aobut Joshua and wrestling which God had been talking to me about that morning. So I was like this is totally relevant to me. Awesome! (I don't get that very much in regular church. Mostly because children are very distracting.)


Now the only thing I really need to figure out is how to get to the Siemens house. I have ALL of my stuff from my van. I am a vagabond.


So I am saying to someone at my table after the con. I plan on asking Cass for a ride to the Siemens and Cass walks up behind me. I'm like, oh, can I...


He laughs and says he's already arranged for a ride with Jen Liddy and she'll take me there.


So Jen Liddy and I head back to the Siemens house and she drops me off, so I give her the mapquest directions from the Siemens house back to the con. so she can get back. (Another one of those things that He set up )


Nobody is home when I get there, and i know Josiah isn't going to be home until later, he had a late broom hockey game with his youth group till like 2 am and it was only 11.


So i walk in after hunting down the key and the tv is on and I'm like Yeah! Fresh Prince. and I vegg for a bit and then the phone rings. I'm pretty sure it's Mary calling to check on everything, but i try not to answer other peoples phones without permission.


Of course their machine picks up and it is Mary.


i talk to her and tell her what happened, she says that I can use their Toyota Saturday, to get to the conference. So God provided alternate transportation too.


That was friday.


 



I wake up early Saturday morning, 1 minute before my alarm goes off and get ready. I have enough time to throw together a video to loop on my table.


This is it.








Pretty cool, right? No? Ok, whatever.


Anyway. I get to the conference in the borrowed toyota corrolla and set up my table, with the computer. I am waiting for Jay to call and let me know when to call the towtruck.


The conference starts at 10 and I go in for worship, I get a call from Jay saying that his dad is at breakfast and wont be available till 12:30. I'm ok with that. So I'm back in worship with my flags. Good worship service, good relevant message.


Afterwards I'm starving and must get real food. I have pretty much subsided on beef jerky and baby carrots. They have a mini cafe set up so I go in and find out the only thing close to palateable is a hot pocket. I buy one. Thsi is what is running through my head...









Cass and Sonnet call me over (names may or may not be changed to protect the innocent) to join about eight people at a table. I was gonna eat by myself at my table and not think anything about it. they make room and I join them.


Cass asks what I'm eating, I'm having a HotPocket (I sing it like Jim Gaffigan)


almost half the table laughs at the joke, I feel cool.


They make room for me ans i sit down. they are like, do you really wanna eat that because (insert her name here) is a caterer and brought sandwiches, there are extras and i can have one. Hmmm.... I think what kind, but god says dont ask just eat it. Cass says welcome to lessons in recieving. So I say yes. there are even toppings and fruit salad and it is a really good lunch. I throw away the Hot Pocket. Good bye diharreah pocket!


Talk to a few people at my table, but just before the peak selling time My cell phone goes off and i leave the flags there.


I am going to meet the tow truck guy at the shell station where i left my van. So i head over there and carefully drive over the bumps. when I get close I see something strange. My van is not there.


FRICK!


So I go in and I ask the guy, Did you have my van towed after you promised you would not have it towed? Give me the number to your tow company!


He starts complaining about the mess my transmission fluid left all over his gas station. I inform him I would have paid for the kitty litter. He continues to complain. This is a test, because i want to scream and cuss at this big fat liar, and call him a big fat liar too. I am completely enraged.


I get the number and then I tell him that He promised , no I 'm yelling that He promised that he would not have it towed, and he broke his word. I'm pointing my finger at him (no, not the middle one) and yelling, but i only yelled the truth.


fuming I call the tow company, and I can hardlly hear the guy let alone know what he is saying something about $240. So my tow guy gets there and He leads the way to the tow yard where they have my van. They have basically stolen my property and i have to pay extortion money to get it back. Jerks.


So the original guy shows up and i pay him $324 from my business account which has enough money in it only because yesterday I recieved an order large enough to cover materials, shipping and rip off tow guys. i even pay him the extortion money cheerfully. Thanking God because the money is there and I don't have to go into debt with this.


My tow guy tows the van to the transmission shop.



it is much farther that it was supposed to be


we get to the tranny shop


this is chuck, it's his shop


this is the tow guy, i forget his name, but I paid him $75. ouch!



this is Jay, he is taking off my perforated pan



I'm waiting around and i see this



it reminds me, what is my core focus in this? Praising Him in the midst of the trouble.


They look at the pan and decide they can weld it, then they give me a map because i will probably get lost. I make it back in the last minutes of the conference and can get no flags. So I just wait. When they open up the room of the tables, a few customers wander in and out.


Right before peak sselling time again, Jay calls me and tells me my van is ready. So I have him pick me up. The cost is $90. Not too bad. Total cost of being distracted by God $499. The experience of walking through it... priceless?


I left the map in the toyota and get lost enough to test the engine and make sure there are no other problems. Great. I suck at getting verbal directions. nOne thing I have learned about myself, I retain about 10% of what I hear, which is why I've probably forgotten your name within 2 minutes of being introduced. I only remember if I see mental pictures.


I get back in time to grab a few flags and run into the worship service. Keep in mind that I am still mad about the money, mad about the tow/impound/mad at the shell guy. but I am in the worship and I have a positive attitude and I am praising Him. Trying not to hit people who want to get too close, trying to have an attitude of worship.


There is this constant communion thing where i am talking back and forth with God. So heather Clark is giving out prophetic words to people in the audience, really awesome words, mostly to the warcry kids.


i ask God, Can I have a prophetic word?


He says, "Isn't this good enough?"


I don't that want to stop so I say, no this is really good, it s just sometimes I feel like a crazy person talking to a Voice in my head all the time.


He says "Your mind doesn't talk to you the way I do."


I think about it ans agree, I am satisfied to not get a prophetic word.


So of course (if you sit next to me you know) I am goofing off and making funny comments distracting Melina during Heather's words and Heather clark says


the girl with the flag! (that's me holding my redemption flag which comes into the story later)


first of all I'm busted talking in church (dangit)


secong she called me girl (hee heee I feel young)


she starts talking about not just my life, but the past six months, a fog (which i wrote a sorry poem about)


and also this van thing that i am walking through this weekend (still not funny)


she uses key words and phrases that i or friends have said in conversations


then she says this stuff is hidden like pieces of a puzzle coming together where they dont make sense in pieces, only when the are together Can you see that they come together to form a foundation of an amazing prophetic gift or ministry (not sure which) and i would be able to stand on the mountain and see the overall picture. Wow. That references a dream I had.


she says alot more and I don't remember it all but of course I am bawling by this time and totally blessed because even thought i asked for this word, I didn't expect to get it, but I am not a crazy person talking to a voice in my head, it really is God and this mess I've been wading through is for a purpose.


Later the teaching is talking about opening the gates and go over psalm 24:7 and it hits me this is the verse that I made all the purple and gold flags for (so go read it, I'm not going to do all the work here)


Another thing she said was God sometimes distracts us, when we think we are getting it wrong (like hitting speedbumps while praying) it was him giving us calamity.


so I sell a flag or two and pack up, deciding to leave my van parked in the light by the entrance because I borrowed the Siemend toyota and have to take that back. I guess if it gets stolen then God will take care of that too.


The maintenance guy looks at me funny when I pull my van up to the front of the church and leave it. I tell him the situation and tell him I'm going to be back in the morning. Please don't tow it. He doesnt.


I head back to the Siemens without getting lost, I may have the hang of getting to their house, finally, right? Josiah is on the phone somewhere in the house, so I putter around and get ready for bed.


I fall asleep watching Moving Macallister. I relaize while I'm watching it I'm living the idea of this movie. Maybe, I don't know. good movie anyway, I really like it.






So, Sunday morning i woke up to my cell phone alarm at 7:30 and watched a bit more of moving macallister before taking my shower and reheating the coffee in the coffee pot. (I wasn't gonna waste it). I wear one of my I Thess 5:18 tees, because you know Who told me to. I guess I've earned it after the past two days. Right?


Knowing Josiah had been on the phone most of the night I got him up as late as possible to give me a ride. It had been arranged the night before by Mary. Actually up until that morning we probably had only said hi & bye to eachother. Wierd, right? Sure.. call me wierd. Whatever. Anyway Josiah is a fantastically talented musician who plays multiple instruments, but didn't care to sing on stage. And a pretty good driver too. We talked most of the way to the con. with a few awkward silences, but it was ok.


So I unload most of my stuff into my van, and say goodbye, then bring my computer and what not into the church. Warcry is nowhere in sight. But there is a youth group having Sunday school. OK...... I quietly stick my stuff under a table and wander around a bit. maybe warcry hasn't gotten there yet. No they haven't. One lady grabs me and asks me about my hair, she's a hairdresser.


She tells me that burgundy would look fab. on me. OK. Am I new here? No, I'm with the con. There's a con? Their church, most of them don't even know about the conference. Too bad. She introduces me to a bunch of people including the pastor. He gives me permission to use the flags during the worship service & tells me where to sit so I don't block the vision. It has been about 2 years since they had flags here. I am wondering why...


They have this hospitality thing down, I am fed breakfast. (remember living on jerky and carrots unless God decides to feed me) and given coffee (oh make my heart sing, I do love caffeine!) and introduced to  bunch more ladies who want to hear about the flags and the conference. It is a very welcoming congregation.


They have pre-worship service worship at 10, then the actual service starts at 10:30. So I am in the front using the flags, trying to follow the leading of the spirit in which flags to use and little ones come up to me for flags and I give out my little ones first. One girl is not satisfied with a small one and asks for a bigger one. I make her wait until i see she is able to handle them. I whisper pointers to her and hand her my rose of sharon flag. a couple of people thank me for bringing the flags.


They have a pre message by their pastor about local outreach and then a guest speaker. It is about missions, and distance outreach. Going beyond your comfort zone, sending people, and not just funds. about how God is moving in Africa and it is 3rd in the world for christian population because we have been praying. And where are the 3 most desolate (spiritually) nations? America, China and I think France. We have churches on every corner, but they aren't reaching out. How many non-christians do you know and associate with?


How are we loving them as they are without whacking them with a bible?


So I go up into the balcony with my flags and ther are 2-3 other people up there. I look down at the congregation on the floor and there is only 2/3 of the seating filled. I am sitting there listening to an amazing message in a warm and inviting body with a relevant  and generous pastor and too much room. And the Spirit started telling me about the church. So i started praying and agreeing.


At one point I look at my feet and i'm wearing my purple doc's which were my last choice for the conference. I was gonna wear my flops and my tall doc;s, but I ask and these are the shoes that someone prophetically called my butt-kicking boots. then I realize they are purple and have gold stitching. these are the colors He gave me for the conference.



After the service I met a few people and then everyone else left except the ones who were using fuller hall where my table was. So I went out to sit in my van and just rest.


Sitting on my van's antenna was a sleeping beauty crown. I take this as a prophetic sign. So I grab the crown off my antennae and sit in my van.



And I'm thinking , ok, what does this mean? It's a crown: anointing, royalty treasure, Antennae: recieves messages from the air that otherwise can't be heard Sleeping beauty: wakes up after a long sleep the van: means ministry, has just been broken, stolen, recovered, repaired and fluids changed out. I guess I'm ready to recieve new messages.


Ok, Lord. I'll take it!


So I'm sitting there wondering what is in store for today and i see in my head, the red standard flag. I hear Him say Isaiah. I'm supposed to give the flag to someone named Isaiah or with a verse from Isaiah that's been on their mind all day. Ok. Now I have a mission. I asked for more clarification, but that was all He would give me. I'm excited. I have an objective aside from selling flags. I can't wait to see what is going to happen. I look around for Isaiah and cant find him, so I give up and just wait.


I talk to a few people after setting up my table and sell a few flags throughout the day, but that's not relevant to most of the story. I carefully and prayerfully select the flags, and I put my zills in my pocket so I don't hav to dig in my purse for them, (it's a whim, I haven't used them all weekend, but i made such a fuss about finding them i should at least have them) for the first session and sit in the same spot I sat in during the worship service.


The shofar guy is sitting there too. Cool. I tell him how glad i am that he brought his shofars.


Worship starts witha nice song and I flag along, then they start a misty edwards song (Oh how we want You to Come) and I pick up my lion of judah banner, a little bit into the song I can't help but run upstairs into the balcony. I am dancing and then it turns into whirling and slashing with the banner, soon I am a mad woman, battling something like crazy and i'm panting and then I'm bawling and still slashing with the Lion of Judah banner. Then I start breathing out and i realize that this is what I felt like when tongues was first released to me and I let it out and a fuller part of the language comes spilling out (before i only had one phrase) and i am still slashing and crying and then I just sit down in the aisle and wail like I've never wailed before. That was wierd.


They start another song, and I found out later that it's on the new Misty Edwards album. It's called my soul longs for You. I goes between fast and slow and it kinda rocks, it says My soul longs for you Nothing else will do I believe that you will come like the rain you'll come like the rain and there is a lot of repetitiion. and I wanted to play the rain. Then I realized that my zills are already in my pocket instead of downstairs with the flags and my purse. So i play the rain and dance and cry and act like a total maniac. It was good. At some point I grab my other flags and stuff and bring them up there.


There is another shofar guy too, he and a woman have come up to the balcony (The high place) She has the red standard and is using it during the worship.


After the worship is over I head over to her because she is putting the flag back in my pile. She's like, i hope it's ok i borrowed it. I'm like yeah, yeah, whatever, but do you have a verse from Isaiah that's been on your heart all day?


At his point she really looks at me. She says , Yes, Isaiah 28:6 and recites it to me. I'm not sure how it's relevant to me (I'm still asking) but i hear her say Isaiah 48:17 (I'm a little deaf, but i keep that verse for meditation too) I tell her theat the standard is for her and to meet me at my table after the service. She is so excited about the flag, she agrees to meet me later and goes back downstairs.


After the teaching is over I head to my table and talk to Char, she is a foster gramma and I tell her about the flags and what the red atandard means, she is so excited about the standards, especially when I show her the verse in Isaiah 59:19. She gets it, Ooh! Raise Up the STANDARD! It's this amazing revelation to her. Turns out she is this great prayer warrior. We talk fo like a half an hour and she leans across the table and puts her finger on the flag and says you know, this flag is going to Israel. I start bawling again, I tell her that I tried to send that flag to Israel, but ended up sending a blue one to a ministry that does recon in the desert with shofars. She leans closer and goes Oh, You're going to Israel. You'll go to the upper room too. I start cryoing harder and she comes around the table and lays hands on me and blesses me and passes on a mantle (something for the nations, I forget.) and says that the number five is significant for this. She says that she has told other women they would go and all of them have gone in spite of financial and family hardships.


Coolio. I am however very nervous about travelling internationally. But I guess I'll have to get a passport now.


The beginning of the next conference i sat front, right by the shofar guy. He says to me when you take up your Lion of Judah flag don't go upstairs, stay down here. I try to tell him that I couldn't help it and he says Yeah, I know all about the prophetic, just stay down here this time. Ok. i realized that I was hoping for the worship to be the same but I couldn't expect that.


At one point he was weaving and he says to me I'm getting whacked by your flags.


 



I'm like. Sorry, I didn't even realize that I was hitting you.


He's like, no, it's the glory. I've never seen such an anointing on flags before .


Thrilling. This whole flag thing was Gods idea, it's just good to be encouraged.


He says, It's knocking me over. I don't usually get hit like this. Then he realizes that he has to share something with me.


He says, you know people like us are wired differently, (some people have like a capacity of two,) they are the ones that get drunk in the spirit really easily, and just get hit really hard. I'm like ok, I get that (i have a friend that you can clock the Holy Spirit on, he comes in and she goes down. Everyon'e like, L."'s been 'floored', it's time to go!) So he says you know, we are wired for more because of the prophetic, we need to have extra capacity. It's not ok if the ministers are going under when they are ministering to others. They have to be able to stand, to lay hands and pass it on.


I tell him about the prayer line and how a lady was doing a word and the person went down, and she kept pushing me and I was like, am I supposed to go down?  


He tells me to not let them push me down, and if i go through the prayer tunnels to recharge others while they are praying for me. Gotcha. I have to say, i am not a cheap drunk in the spirit, I have actually only been reeling once and it lasted maybe an hour, but it was pretty fun.


I always wondered why I never 'felt' anything even when everyone else was totally swimming in it and like 'the glory, the presence' and i'm like What.? Now I know. I feel better, and if you have been like that then you too should now feel better. Yay.


Then he starts sharing one of his theories with me and it makes sense. He says (paraphrased because of memory) Ok, light and blood are molecularly very similar.  Very very similar.  God is light, we are created in the image of God, so adam and eve were probably very shiny before the fall.  Now imagine milk, fresh and pure and then the state of milk when it becomes cottage cheese. It spoils some and curdles. His theory (or revelation) is that blood and flesh are curdled light. No wonder adam and eve went Eeww! Cover it up! NO more shiny, they were just curdled light. Wierd right? Interesting. Thought provoking,


Capacity for glory, 10. because God created them for His glory and they held it, it spilled out of them. Jesus capacity for glory, 10.      Moses? probably 9.  Lightweights 2-3. Ministers more, maybe 4-8, i dont know, just making up numbers here. (hmm like the talents right? to those who use it more is given, to those who don't it's taken away)


He tells me that I have sensitivity to the Spirit for which flag I'm using during the worship. (I do know this, I'm trying to follow the leading, because the flags are to unite the body in agreement. I sometimes ask when i'm unsure. If it was just which flags are prettiest then I'd only use 3 or 4 all the time)


During payer and ministry time I feel that I am supposed to give away my brand new redemption flag. Ok, i pick it up and start fidgeting with it. Now i know who, I'm waiting for the pastor of that church to be free for a moment. When he is I jump up and put my hand on his shoulder. I hand him the flag and tell him what it symbolizes for his church, that is partly what the warfare dance was about. His empty church. I tell him what the flag is twice because he asks. then i sit down.


John, the shofar guy that is, says do you see that? I'm like what? (ever clueless me, right?) he leans and says no lean over here. I lean and he says do you see the gold dust? finally I see it. I'm like yeah! I'm totally excited and i look over at him


Joun says it fell when you gave that pastor the flag. Hee hee hee.



When i look back form John to the gold dust it's doubled in size.


I'm like it got bigger! (It really si a flake, and not a squiggle, but I jostled the camers so this is my image, but coolio anyway, right?) C-mon, tell me how neat that is!


He agrees. After the conference Char comes over. They go to the same church. I guess I'll have to visit their church in clovis.


As soon as the conference is over I am packing up and my friend Carol and I decide to caravan together. I drive my van home. After vehicle expenses, printing, food, gas adn other misc expenses I have made $35.00.


Not quite the take home i was hoping for, but the best, worst weekend of my life. Vehicle repairs, towing and impound: $499.  Weekend with God: Priceless.


Cheesy line from the visa commercials, irresistable. Thanks for enduring the long ramble.

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